I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
