do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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