im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
