you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
