...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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