i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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