Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize