It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
wow bdsm is so cute
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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