That's intense
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
