i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
