I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
