I cockslap morals
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I don't deserve a penis
You're a waste of cheezeits
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
