That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
