We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
