At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
