doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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