Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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