I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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