I looked at my own cervix.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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