Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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