My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
we should paint friendship bongs
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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