ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
