ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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