he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
