I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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