forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
