I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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