M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
