She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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