just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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