what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
