New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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