I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
