I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
