You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
