Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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