Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
