don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
