Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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