hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
no you cant smoke seaweed
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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