So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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