I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
