In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We talked him into tasing himself.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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