I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
