I am in a vortex of obligation.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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