Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
