$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
