After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
