all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
