I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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