I cannot find my penis.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Be still, my beating vagina.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
