this boner is exhausting
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize