I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
