Pappa wants mamma naked
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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