Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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