You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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