he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
