Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
