I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
