Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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